How Can I Not?
Sometimes when I am talking about my life, the crazy twist and turns, the moments that at times have become literally carved into my flesh, it seems impossible, unreal, beyond what I can, most times, put into words. I don't know if its the decisions I have made that have brought me to the depths of sin, isolation, pain, or what, but I simply cannot see things the way I did before. Everything seems bigger, and at the same time things I see others get so twisted up in really just don't matter. There are moments when the weight of my sinful choices, and the consequences I am facing suffocate me. There are moments when I list my failures, or have someone point them out to me, and I want to crawl off somewhere and die. But over and over again in those moments, there is another voice that says, Jessi, look up. Jessi, see Me. Many years ago, I went to the alter. A broken, mess of a girl and said simply, God it is too big, I don't know how, but here I am, I'm giving myself