Showing posts from October, 2012

To My Anna Grace

So many things I want to say, and none of them make sense. I love you. That is the easy part, except of course, the part about where my actions didn't show that. I wouldn't forgive me either. I see you talking to others from our world, and my heart aches so much I can't breathe. I honestly had no idea what to do with you. I did everything the professionals said, and you just kept getting sicker. We bounced from professional to professional. All seemed hopeless until you were assessed by the people at Evergreen. I begged them for help and they acted as if that is what they would do, and at the last minute they took you away. The man who made the final decision went home that day and killed himself. No kidding. And no one would go back on what he said. They spent months sending me to training and pretending you were coming home, all the while sending you to attachment therapy and making adoption arrangements with your "new" mom. Nope, I didn't respond well


The fall weather brings up lots of memories for me, and tonight, or this morning, if you are not in vampire sleep mode like me, I am remembering two years ago when life crashed around me. I was overwhelmed. I was depressed. I was hopeless. Many considered me down for the count. The darkness so thick and so ugly consumed me. But guess what? In that darkness, I got to see the stars.  Leah Sams, Jeniffer Carver, Angie Keeling, Abby Stalcup, Dawn Bynum, and Heidi Scott were my lifeline. They called or texted me, always at the time I needed it most. They answered when I would crumble and listened to my broken heart. They spoke God's word to me to combat satans lies. They were HIS voice.  My community group, led by Stacey Griffith, rallied around me and the kids. They showed up here with everything from groceries and delicious meals to furniture and appliances, NOT because I asked, but because they saw a need and simply took care of it. They were HIS hands. When I stumbled and f