Friday, December 30, 2016

It's Not the Freak in Target

As someone working on her second masters in Victim Services and who was a foster parent from 1999 to 2007, I can tell you that that the guy stalking or trying to steal kids in the store isn't the norm for sexual predators. 

He isn't the guy in the store, he is the friend who "just loves your kids," the teacher who is "concerned," the neighbor who volunteers to get them off the bus, the older cousin, the somebody you see and know who has disarmed you. 

The person who will inevitably harm your child is statistically most likely to be someone you know and trust. Be careful in public for sure, but please know that is your safest area.

Trauma and Disease

Trauma and disease; both of which have the ability to cause tremendous heartache, pain, and suffering; yet, each are treated decidedly different by society. When a person's body is harmed by cancer or some other physical illness they have support groups, awareness campaigns, they can even say they are "kicking cancer's ass." The person can cry, fuss, and have facebook pages about their illness and how awful it is. They are able to discuss all the damage their illness has caused and is it completely socially acceptable.  

When someone's body, heart, or mind is harmed by another person, they are told to forgive, to let God handle them, to rise above it. Their trauma is made ugly and secret. To speak out is to cause harm to another human or to talk badly about the other human. The problem is everyone seems to forget why they are crying in the first place. There is no place where it is ok to say, "This person did this very horrible thing to me," because that is gossip and badmouthing. But what about the bad that happened? Without a way to be let out it crawls within that person and rips them to shreds over and over again. That is truly a terrible place to be, an awful way to feel, and very very lonely.

It is for that reason that a few years ago I decided to speak out and up. I decided to acknowledge my pain and call out those who caused it. While I have faced criticism and received a few "What would Jesus do" lectures,  that is ok with me.  The sadness of knowing I disappointed someone who doesn't understand is nothing compared to the fear and isolation of living with unacknowledged pain. And as for Jesus, Jesus called things as they were. He named people's pain. He interceeded when bullies showed their ugly heads. He said no to secrets and monsters that come even in the daytime and I will too. 

Friday, December 23, 2016

Thursday, December 01, 2016

No God Did Not Elect trump and Other Things We Need to Stop Saying

I'm so utterly sick of hearing how God intervenes when it is consistent with someone's beliefs and supportive of their story. Governmental and religious leaders claiming God elected trump all the way to one home burning down over another.

My heart has been wrecked this week over wildfires in my home state. So many stories of "I prayed and God saved me" or "People prayed and both my neighbors homes burned but mine was saved." Really? And for the neighbors? Was no one praying? Did God not care about their prayers?

While the concept of God intervening may seem great, please consider those neighbors. Think about those who are still missing family, who lost their homes, who have confirmed their families are gone? Did God not care about them or their prayers?

The thing is we all have free choice and that leads to a whole lot of consequences. Rapist tyrants elected presidents all the way to depraved humans burning down thousands of acres of land and killing untold numbers of people. It is awful.

I believe God is there. I believe God is in those who have shown up with supplies, who pray without ceasing, in Veterans who stand in front of water protectors, and in people who refuse to be silent when evil tries to drown out the truth.

You Want Her Whole

You want her whole. Trust me. For when she finds her muchness; when she gathers all the pieces of herself, all the pieces you have broke...