Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Adopting Kids with Mental Illness

Some things I wish I knew or understood as a foster and adoptive parent...please feel free to share.

Don't adopt outside of your understanding.

If you have a child, do NOT adopt a child older than that child.

Educate yourself.

Don't trust the professionals as the final word, investigate!

Always work out post adoption support services (subsidy, insurance, coverage for non insurance covered issues). Do NOT agree to adopt without this.

Look at the child exactly as they are right now. Is this enough? If not, please don't adopt. Change is great but hoping for change in chronic mental illness is beyond what most can handle.

Connect. Connect. Connect. You NEED other foster and adoptive parents.

Have fun! This world is painful. Find something that makes it easier and cling to it.

Understand that you did NOT create your child or their issues. You are just trying to help them overcome.

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Common Sense Gun Laws NOW!!!!

With the latest school shooting, I have sat sickened as I have heard people say that it is a people problem, not a gun problem.

Just a side note, my mainly vegetarian self is from a family of hunters. I have NO issue with hunting. I don't do it, but I respect those who do.

I love my family dearly. I know that they hunt, and while I don't, I appreciate the love they have for it. What I have yet to see is any of my gun owning, hunting friends or family use automatic weapons to hunt.

Automatic weapons are absolutely unnecessary for the general public. Admittedly in my own perfect world, where guns have repeatedly been used to threaten me, I would prefer they did not exist at all. I also understand there are some guns that serve a positive purpose for some people.

When the highest and seemingly most important of all constitutional amendments was written (or at least that is how it feels), guns with the capability that we have today did not exist. They were not even dreamed of.

When I was ten years now old my father shot my stepmother and himself. With his history of domestic violence and alcoholism he should have absolutely NOT had a gun, but legally, he did. He had many of them.

And yes, my dad could have used a knife or fork, or stone, or his hands, which he did many times. 

When my father abused my mother or my stepmother, they were able to walk away with broken bones or bruises, but they walked away. If my dad, who I know was intent on killing himself and my step mom, had a fork or knife, a time element that could have saved everyone's lives would have been introduced.

Yes, he may have stabbed her, but she could have ran, or crawled away, maybe she would have still died, but she would have had a chance beyond dying on a set of stairs with gunshot wounds to her back from trying to run away.

If my dad had stabbed himself, with a knife or fork, even if he stabbed himself in the head, he may have been hurt, but he could have had time to get help.

Guns, the immediacy of bullets, they took my father from me. Not his mental illness, not his propensity for violence. If he had not had easy access to guns, he could have had a chance to change his mind from a decision that has broken many of his children and family forever.

Time. That is the difference. That is why gun control matters.

Or at least why it matters to me as I prepare to celebrate another birthday of my dad's without him.

Please work to pass gun legislation that first and foremost limits those with a domestic violence history or mental illness from purchasing guns. You know, currently people who commit acts of domestic violence, even if charged and convicted are able to own guns? You see, it is as simple as them taking a domestic violence class and had their record expunged. This should NEVER happen.

Think long and hard on the cost of allowing citizens to own automatic weapons, especially like an AR 15 with a high kill capacity.

The latest? The lives of seventeen humans.

Is it worth it? For me, it isn't. Even one is not worth it and by the time I am done typing this, more victims of gun violence will already be created.

In reference to the argument that guns don't kill people, try to look at it like this...cars don't kill people, people kill people. Ok, and yet, many laws have been put into place on the responsible use and operation of a vehicle. From training and testing for drivers, vehicle inspections to work the way they should, to a loss of driving privileges for things like diminished capacity or a failure to follow a multitude of other laws which may or may not be driving related. How can we understand the danger of cars and ignore the danger of guns that are used on a daily basis to end the lives of our citizens?

Please do something.

Common sense guns laws NOW!

You Want Her Whole

You want her whole. Trust me. For when she finds her muchness; when she gathers all the pieces of herself, all the pieces you have broke...