A year ago today I wrote the following... "Oh stress and worry, my bitter enemy and closest companion. On days like today when monsters are real and heartache rumbles through my very bones I find myself longing for an end. My everything hurts and so much in me says give up, but something in me, something I don't quite understand, and yet, am so very drawn to, says hold on. Something in me says "don't let go, I have a plan, a purpose, a destiny for you." Very close to me, I have someone who says over and over again, "give up, it is hopeless, you are a liar and a crazy whore, God sold you out, you are nothing"...there are moments when those words suffocate me. And yet...I am still breathing. God why am I breathing??? I am so very tired. I am reminded of Jacob when he wrestled the Angel, even with a dislocated hip he said "I won't let go until you bless me". God, I don't know what you are doing. I don't even know that you care.
Showing posts from November, 2012
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I wear the things I am grateful for proudly. Publicly and privately, from my Stephen, to my babies, from my friends, to my creatures, I take a moment and celebrate the things in my life that make my day just a little brighter and my burden less, EVERY SINGLE DAY and guess what? You should too. This isn't to say I don't have my moments, trust me, I do! I've said often, I am a faller not a flier. However, I have learned to appreciate the good in life. I had a very precious friend and mentor teach me to seek out the good. You can always find a reason to be mad, depressed, disappointed, whatever...just remember that while you are busy complaining about your man, your job, your kids, there is a wife waiting on a husband who won't ever come home, there is a person losing the only means they have to feed their family, there is a mama saying goodbye to her baby as he gets his Angel wings... Some people get it twisted, they have allowed themselves to get so sucked into
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I have continued to make my grateful lists each day on my facebook page, and transfer them as well to the Grateful List facebook page. I am however finding that I do not remember to bring them over to this page, and so for now, I am going to discontinue that. I don't want to get so bogged down in repeat posting about what I am grateful for, that I do not have time to enjoy those things for which I am grateful. I hope that you understand and that each of you are taking a moment out of your day to remember the things which are good and lovely and make your burden less.