Tuesday, April 24, 2018

Thank You Mama

Hey Jessica,

Thank you so much for getting up super early and driving kids to school even though they could take the bus because you know it causes them anxiety. Thank you for doing that even when you havent slept at all and you are exhausted.

Thank you for answering phone call after phone call about situations you cannot help. Thank you for praying about those situations even if you aren't sure God hears you anymore.

Thank you for not flipping out when you saw laundry you just washed and folded thrown on the floor.

Thank you for bleach moping the entire house because it's rainy and you know everyone had drug every kind of grossness in.

Thank you for changing sheets everyday and making sure everyone had clean clothes.

Thank you for being on 58 phone calls in one day to make sure your adopted daughters get what they need, even when it makes your other kids mad at you.

Thank you for taking 4 phone calls from one daughter who is concerned that she won't have a place to go when she leaves the hospital.

Thank you for calling and begging and pleading with any and everyone who will listen so that she does have a place to go.

Thank you for taking the dog out and dealing with the fact that she refuses to pee in the rain. 

Thank you for feeding tiny kittens because their mama died and you know how to do it.

Thank you for washing dishes that will be rewashed as if you did nothing, or left in random places to grow the very best mold.

Thank you for extending grace to others that they cannot be bothered to extend to you.

Thank you for refusing to give up even when your heart is broken.

Thank you for even getting up today when your entire being screamed to stay in bed.

Love All ways and Always,

Jessica and every other Mama she knows

Sunday, April 22, 2018

Darkness and Light

Sometimes while walking through the forest, the darkness encroaches so slowly that you don't notice that it's there. 

Your eyes adjust to the lack of sunlight, you move forward, unaware. You never stumble or falter or realize that there is anything at all wrong with your travels.

And by and by the sun begins to rise, a sun you never noticed was missing. A flicker of light makes it's way between the trees, shininge. You turn around and try to move away from it. It becomes hard to see. 

Your focus is lost. 

You are scared but drawn. 

You can't move or breathe or feel.

And the light gets brighter. . .

Your eyes begin to adjust to the way things should be. You remember what it was once like to see the details in the world around you. 

A familiar joy rises up within in you, beckoning your forward. You move faster and step closer anxious to continue to allow your world to brighten. 

You are chasing the sun, 

terrified of losing it again, 

off getting lost in the darkness, 

unaware.

You Want Her Whole

You want her whole. Trust me. For when she finds her muchness; when she gathers all the pieces of herself, all the pieces you have broke...