Friday, May 21, 2010

What I've learned today 5-21-2010

My Malamutes have outsmarted me again, working together to loosen the door to their kennel and escape.

My neighbor is not very fond of my pond destroying Mallys.


There is a good way to get hit by a car and Mia lucked out.

A couple weeks of quiet and rest (go ahead and laugh, I did when the vet told me that's what she needed). I asked for Doggie xanex but apparently they don't make them.

Self tanner+tears=a ridiculous facial complexion. Hello Zebradom.

Abby can stop a hundred squirmy first graders when she sings.

Washing oversized comforters in your bathtub is not nearly as fun as I remember it being when I was a kid.

Mandisa has written a very beautiful new song "He is with You"

I have some of the very best flashlight holders in the whole world. You know who you are. Thank you.

My diet coke addiction is stronger than I thought.

Hey look I'm still drinking water...just some soda on the side.

Writing, even if it's about silliness, makes me feel better.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Twenty different ways to get to nine and other ways to avoid homework

So today we have one of the in home therapist here, and they have introduced a sticker chart to help work with one of our little ones.

It isn't our first sticker chart, in fact, I once made myself one and every time I didn't lose my cool over some radical behavior, I gave myself a sticker. Ten stickers, and Mama got an ice cream! Yay!

Never the less, little bit is doing homework, super distracted about her stickers, so the therapist tells her to count how many she has. She hops up and counts them, 11. He then says "now, how many do you need to get your ball?"

20

"Right so how many more do you need?"

She says, "hold on I'll figure it out."

Now after then ten minute hunt for a pen (the pencil she was holding was not math worthy), and then the perfect book and paper to perform the difficult subtraction task, she finally ends up with the therapist pen and my paper, but hey, she is now sitting and working out the problem.

Wait now what was the problem? She forgot.

The therapist tells her it has something to do with her sticker chart.

So she gets up and goes and re counts how many stickers she has.

11!

Eleven what?

"That's how many stickers I have"

Right.

Ok.

Kid starts heading back to kitchen. I am burying my head trying not to giggle out loud.

Therapist says "No, no come back in here, now what was the question?"

Kid "I don't know"

Therapist says "You were trying to figure out how many stickers you needed to get to 20 and earn your ball"

"Right, oh yeah ok I'm gonna figure it out."

Kid sits back down with her supplies, and concentrating quite seriously for several minutes finally announces "31"

"What?" Therapist says.

"20 add 11 is 31."

"You added them, you were supposed to subtract".

"Ok" Kid laughs hysterically, gets up, heads back to the kitchen to finish her homework.

Therapist says "so how many more stickers do you need?"

I know I know, he is quite persistent, I am too tickled to even participate anymore.

I am definitely fired.

So she says "ok I will figure that out".

Comes back, sits down and spends the next several minutes working on it.

Finally announces "9"

"Right! Nine what?" Therapist asks.

"I don't know, 20 take away 11 is 9."

I know, but why were you taking away 11?

I don't know cuz it makes nine?

Therapist exits. Mom retreats to her bathroom to laugh hysterically.

The End

You Want Her Whole

You want her whole. Trust me. For when she finds her muchness; when she gathers all the pieces of herself, all the pieces you have broke...