You know you are Jessica when
You drive to the store at 8 pm for ridiculously priced goat cheese to eat with fig preserves and crackers. After hours of the kids driving you nuts you turn all the clocks ahead one hour so you can put them to bed. Shhhh... You spend as much on pet food as you do human food. You write sad stories, but are always hopeful. You have sizes 3-12 in your closet, and they all fit you from time to time, and sometimes within the same two week period. You avoid humans like the plague, but when they make their way in, you never ever let them go. There are people, who have saved your life, but you are unable to give them credit. You hate Idaho, and have turned all Idaho wear into bird toys.