Thursday, December 15, 2022

Do You Hear Me, Even Now?

I’m sure it is no surprise to You that we aren’t friends right now. 

I forgave You for him, and him, and so many hims, most days,  my heart can’t breathe.

I forgave You for lost babies.

I forgave You for repeated patterns,  loneliness, and even still….

You took my Andramada.

Fuck You for that. 

And with that, most of Your people just stopped listening. 

Jessi said bad words. 

They can’t handle bad words or big brokenness. They have somehow deluded themselves into thinking it is what You said.

They forgot about what it must feel like to have nails hammered through Your wrists while Your people said nothing.

They forgot how much Your heart broke knowing He could have stopped this, but didn’t.

So many things I could say, but…..

But NOWHERE did You ever preach a prosperity gospel.

You knew it was nonsense created by the comfortable

NOWHERE did You ever say things would be ok, You just promised we wouldn’t be alone.

So here I am, the most screwed up of these, begging Your people to show up, because people are dying.

People are smiling on TikTok, being snarky on Instagram, and dying in the darkness.

So if they won’t, I have reached a point where my love for them is bigger than my anger for You. My guess is that is how You may have felt. 

This should be interesting. 

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