Thursday, March 26, 2020

Saying No

Right now is a time of self sacrifice, a time of stepping up and beyond your normal.
I’m here right now to tell you, ITS OK NOT TO.
Anyone who knows me would tell you, and rightly so, that I am, and have been, an incredibly sacrificial person. I have lost more than words due to what I thought was “doing the right thing,” “listening to God,” or “loving others more than myself.”
The thing I was too selfish, and too proud to realize is that I AM NOT GOD.
I am NOT responsible for the actions of others.
I am actually tasked with keeping myself safe.
In almost 20 yrs of being a foster parent I have endured abuse, kids assaulted, property destruction, a loss of family and friends, hopes, dreams...and on and on. For what?
To say that I sacrificed for my adopted kids?
The reality is. I sacrificed FAR more than me. I sacrificed sleeping through the night, family pets, and my daughter learning how to ride a bike. I sacrificed time, attention, peace, and normal for people who NEVER chose it.
I can nail my self to a cross better than any of you. I’m good at it, not out of manipulation, but out of ignorance. I thought I was doing the right thing.
So, now I say no.
I say, “I’m really sorry to hear that.”
I ask what I can do, but do not put myself, or my family at risk anymore. And, you don’t have to either. Interestingly enough, guess who also did this? Jesus.
Jesus didn’t lay down His life for the woman who was going to be stoned, He applied reason and conviction to those who needed it. Advocacy.
Jesus didn’t starve in protest when the 5000 didn’t have enough food, He collected resources and shared them. Community.
Jesus didn’t argue when He knew the truth, even if it seemed to cost everything. Wisdom.
Bottom line is, You don’t have to die. You don’t have to sacrifice everything. Boundaries are ok, especially when breaking them harms other people who love and care about you.
Don’t fall for the what if everyone blah blah blah, maybe they will. Maybe it will be the end of things. But that isn’t your burden.
It’s just not.
You are human and at the mercy of things far bigger than you. Be kind. Be decent. But don’t lose you in the process. You matter too.

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