I’m on a date and will edit and write more on this later, but, I just had one of the more profound realizations of my life.
As most of you know, my dad died by suicide when I was 10. I’ve spent a lifetime grieving and thinking of all the things I wish I could have said.
The past two weeks have been rough at work. Today alone, I spoke with 5 different suicidal clients. Not “I’m having suicidal thoughts” but, “I want to die, here is my plan, why should I stay?” type callers. I was able to get each of them help. I vented to my coworkers I was exhausted and didn’t understand the influx.
You know what I am just now realizing I also did? I said all of the things, every single one I wish I had been able to say. You matter. There are people who love you. Things are bad right now, but this is temporary. Yes, you have hurt a lot of people and caused a lot of damage, but if you leave, restoration can’t happen. You may be away from your child, maybe even until they are an adult, but if you die by suicide, you take away their choice to ever have a relationship with their dad…..