Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Sexual Sin...Now that you have finally showed up...I have something to say

The post below was written in 2015, but with the Coalition of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood "Nashville Statement" on biblical sexuality that was released today, my heart screamed it needed to be shared again. 

In 2015 my news feed and inbox were flooded with comments and messages from my Christian friends and acquaintances over the Supreme Court decision to legalize same sex marriage. I must say that in all my years of being their friend, I had never heard sexual sin more talked, worried, prayed, and stressed about. Most seemed certain that because of the SCOUS approval of what they deemed sexual sin; the United States, and many who I love and care for, are doomed. Their lament and public admonishment of this sexual sin has continued to be passionate, loud, and nothing short of zealous. 

While despite the fact that I do not agree that those within the LGBTQIA community are in the wrong, I suppose, that on some level, I can appreciate the excitement about exposing and ending sexual sin. You see,  I have spent years trying to get people to pay attention to the devastation caused by sexual sin with almost no response.

With each new post, part of me, honestly, most of me, feels nothing but rage. Post after post has been made about consenting adults getting married, the transgender community, or about how awful the sexual sin of homosexuality is. It is apparently so awful that God might destroy our entire nation and damn both those who are LGBTQ+ and those who support them straight to hell.

The problem is this…

Where have you been? More importantly however, what about this sexual sin, as you call it, consensual sex between two adults who love one another, is so important that after years of ignoring other sexual sins, you have shown up now?

I have spent my lifetime in churches. I have lived a lifetime of sexual abuse, at the hands of many. I have parented child after child through the foster care system who has experienced sexual abuse. I spent twenty years sitting in church every single Sunday and no one ever mentioned sexual abuse or rape, not once.

Why is two adults having consensual sex more terrible than a father holding his child down and having sex with her? Why is two adults getting married more awful than young girls being sold into sexual slavery? Why does no one care about that? Why does no one see me? Why does no one see my girls? Why does no one see or care about the one in three women who experience those things before the age of 18? Why is homosexuality the worst sexual sin? Why is it so much worse that it is the only one you want to talk about?  I just can't make sense of it. 

I’m disgusted by your apathy to the least of these and your hatred of those who are choosing to love because that love does not look like yours. It is nothing short of hatefulness based on biblical passages enmeshed between others you choose to ignore. We never got to choose, and you never said a word. Where was our protest? Where was our sermon? Where was our prayer vigil? Where was our statement? Where were you?

Every single post about same sex marriage, the transgender community, or homosexuality feels like a violation of everything I am because it is a reminder of the nothing that was ever done to protect me and the many many people I have encountered over the years who are longing for the church to step up and say something. Not to "the gays" but to the rapists, to the child molesters, to the sex offenders, to those really committing sexual sin. 


  1. He saw you and your girls. He brought you through it so you could be a light to others who have experienced that particular darkness. I love you and am proud to call you my friend.

  2. Thank you for reading Patricia. I apologize for my late response. I broke my arm and somehow missed seeing your post.

  3. Your words should be engraved on a plaques ... and shouted from mountain tops .. they would heal masses of people. Thank you for penning them in such a heartfelt way .. I will be sure to share this far and wide.

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