Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
I have a friend who is struggling with her children who suffer from Reactive Attachment Disorder. I wrote this to her and wanted to share because this truth is the same for all of us....
Someone said to me very long ago that we did not make these children this way, we simply came behind with Band-Aids too small to fit the trauma wounds caused by their first, and second, and other, sometimes many other, parents. We pay for the faults and failures of those parents because we are the ones brave enough to stay. Mama's like you and I, we attempt the impossible. We fight a battle that without God's intervention, we will lose.
I have to look at it as if we are firemen. Sometimes firemen come in and save the day. Sometimes they arrive on scene and have to stand by knowing that there are people dying inside. Sometimes they show up after the devastation and simply have to clean up the mess left by others. Each and every time, they are firemen. They are doing their job; an impossible and dangerous job that most people will never have the strength enough to do.
I know that you are feeling very discouraged right now, like you have wasted and lost for no reason, but I need you to know this if you know nothing at all; your story, your struggles, your successes and losses, they gave me hope when I had none, they gave me laughter when I realized that other mama's dealt with the absolute weirdness these kids sometimes bring, they brought me strength when I was tired, but most of all, your stories brought me the truth.
The truth is sometimes horrible things happen to little children rendering them simply unable to ever love or feel or be. The truth is that no matter what we do, they will most likely never ever appreciate, understand, or know how much it cost. The truth is we are human. We fail, we succeed, and we love, even when we have to lock that love away to protect our hearts. We are Mama's to children who have lost so much they will never grasp what a blessing it is to have one.
The point of it all isn't "success" but that sometimes some of us do succeed, because they had women like us surrounding them in the process. Sometimes a mama breaks through, maybe not us, maybe not now, but sometimes they do and the truth is those mama's could not have gotten through without our experience, our failures, our bravery to share our story. I love you bunches. I'm proud to call you my friend.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Sunday, June 09, 2013
You know the funniest thing happened when I rescued my dog Vega from his previous owner. The man presented himself as an animal lover who had done everything he could to love and care for his dog, but Vega just stayed so sick and kept losing weight. The owner was pretty certain Vega could never be anything more. I must admit when I first saw him I almost agreed. It was in the almost that healing began.
Within one week of being in my care and being fed on a regular basis, Vega gained twenty pounds. After five months of love and care he went from a 72 lb lethargic bag of bones to a 150 lb healthy, loving, and beautiful family friend. The truth of the matter was that there was nothing wrong with Vega at all. In his previous home his most basic needs were neglected so his appearance and demeanor were poor, it was not reflective of him but of his neglectful owner. Once he was loved, fed, and cared for properly he grew to be one of my most favorite animals.
Monday, June 03, 2013
Friday, May 31, 2013
All of the time, I promised.
All of the time I do what I said I would simply because I said I would.
All the time I try to educate others so they aren't so cruel to you.
All the time I make sure you have what you need even if it isn't home with me and breaks my heart.
All the time I admire your strength.
All the time, you are mine, and I am yours, and all the time is all we need to get wherever it is we are going.
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Wednesday, May 08, 2013
Fast forward a couple more years and I'd been set free from the things that bound me, but it cost me a great deal, including my home and my garden. As spring arrived this year I have simply ached for the ability to dig my hands in the dirt, to watch things grow. My precious Stephen saw that, and bought me the most beautiful bonsai trees. I have spent hours and hours on them and am so grateful for him seeing that hurt in my heart and reaching out to me to find a way to make it better. I love you for that Stephen. Anyway, so tonight was the 3 year anniversary and after I ate, I walked around outside and suddenly I realized, wait, there's my lilies, there's those hostas, there's this or that plant that I had brought over years earlier. In that moment, wow, tears flowed freely as this ever so beautiful voice said to my heart, they aren't lost Jessi, they were moved to a safe place, a place of healing and growth, to a home where many other women who have hurt just like you can come and heal and rest and grow too... Wow, I love God's timing,
Sunday, May 05, 2013
Saturday, May 04, 2013
I say that to preface this...
She came home from school one day very upset. I ask her what's wrong and she replies, "my friend was being mean to me today."
I say, well, "what did she do?"
She says, "she kept telling me to go away, stop following her, and stop talking to her."
I said, "What's your friend's name?"
She says, "I don't know but I told her friends don't talk to each other like that do they Mom?"
A little confused, I asked, "What was happening while she was being mean to you?"
She says, "Well, we were in the gym and I was sitting by her and she kept telling me to go away, then we went to lunch and I was trying to sit with her and she said to stop it that she didn't want me to sit with her and I kept telling her friends don't say things like that but she just said she's not my friend and to go away. That's not how friends talk to each other is it mom?"
So I say, "Let me get this straight, you saw a girl today, and you decided she was your friend, but you don't know her name, and you kept trying to sit with her, talk to her, and follow her around?"
"Yeah but she told me to stop and was saying mean things at me and friends don't do that right?"
I proceeded with the explanation of what friends were, what stalking was, and how someone had to agree to be your friend, and at a minimum you had to know their name before you could call them a friend.
"Ohhhh," she says....
Sunday, March 10, 2013
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